Miracle required

Not a good day at all today. I’ve gone through a rollercoaster of emotions – from anger to denial and whatever other stages there are in between. Now I just feel helpless. Usually when faced with a problem, I act as soon as possible. There is always, ALWAYS, a solution, and as a problem-solver, I will find it. For this, there is no solution.

I’ve decided to speak out about this, because I’m hoping that what happened to me can be prevented with someone else, with foreknowledge. And for me, writing about something helps me deal with it. It is my personal therapy.

After 3 miscarriages this year, my gynaecologist decided to do a procedure called a hysteroscopy, which he assured me is pretty standard. It is, as far as I understand, a little camera that internally explores one’s reproductive organs. I was a bit hesitant, because I dread hospitals, but hey – all for the sake of getting pregnant and having children.

So today I decide to call the doctor for feedback, pretty confident that all worked out well, because surely I would have heard by now if there was anything, you know, wrong. That is when I found out that everything is wrong. I have a condition called a unicornuate uterus. Apparently this is a very rare condition, and I have it.

According to this article, having a unicornuate uterus unfortunately brings a significant risk of both pregnancy loss and preterm labor, as well as ectopic pregnancy. Estimates vary by specific study, but one literature review found pregnancy outcomes in women with unicornuate uteri to be miscarriage in 37%, preterm birth in 16%, and term birth in only 45%.

I ask myself – what can I do about this? Really nothing. There is absolutely nothing that I can do. I can’t change my lifestyle, take medication or go for another operation.

But what I could have done, is that I could have explored further for reasons as to why I had my first miscarriage. I did every blood test on planet earth, and there was no reason at all according to the Pathcare results. I should have insisted on this hysteroscopy – and I would have known that my pregnancies would all have been at risk. I could have taken more precautions, been monitored more closely and maybe, just maybe, not have had 3 miscarriages this year.

If you have a miscarriage, just be aware that this could be one of the reasons. I am almost 40 years old, and not only is my age a factor in my lack of children, but now this as well.

Today this sounded like the end of the road to me, but knowledge is power. I am a fighter, and I don’t easily give up. This is just one more obstacle to overcome on the road to becoming a mom.

It’s a miracle (really!)

Most of you know about our journey to become parents. So far we’ve had an interesting and very bumpy ride, and certainly gained a lot of life-experience.

After my miscarriage in January, my gynecologist told me devastating news. I had fibroids in my womb. Initially I didn’t quite understand why this is bad news. Lots of women post-35 have fibroids, and either live with them or have them successfully removed. But no, my fibroids had to be complicated.

I went for a routine gynecologist visit early 2013, oblivious of anything that could be wrong. Yes, we were still trying to start a family and things were taking a bit longer than we expected, so we thought it a good idea just to get our “plumbing” checked out. After all sorts of probes and tests and scans, it turned out all was well and we should just be patient.

As with most wannabe-parents with no results showing, we learned the hard way that babies won’t be rushed. And towards the end of 2013, with still no result, and after years of trying, we sort of made peace that maybe we were not meant to be parents. And then, wham! we were pregnant. Unfortunately after 6 weeks, I had a miscarriage, but now we knew – there really was nothing wrong, and we could!

And then…. the fibroids. Nobody understood how these aggressively growing fibroids were not picked up at my routine 2013 check. And now, at my January check-up, we saw that because of their location, they had to be closely monitored and negatively influenced the possibility of pregnancy. Then on my second check in February, these fibroids were even bigger. Big nasty growths of smooth muscle and fibrous tissue, and one a cervical fibroid, the other one a common intramural fibroid. The cervical one was the problem, as it could cause all sorts of problems.

My gynecologist explained to me that we may have to operate. There were two procedures that he recommended, a Laparoscopy and a Myomectomy. Unfortunately the fibroids were already too large for a laparoscopy. However, I baulked at a myomectomy. All sorts of things could go wrong, my weight is an issue, and this is invasive surgery and bleeding which could lead to a forced hysterectomy – which meant no babies at all, ever. I asked my gynecologist for more time so I could think about my options and lose a bit more weight.

I did all the research I could – I am sure that I am one of the most informed non-medical people on the planet about fibroids, which really, according to me, is just another type of tumor. I found loads of information about the benefits of cayenne pepper and turmeric, specifically related to tumors. As I already started my morning with a healthy green juice with added protein powder, I added three teaspoons of each to my juice, and took cayenne pepper tablets and turmeric tablets during the day. I also cut out all caffeine, alcohol, carbs – anything that could possibly be “unhealthy”. I followed this self-imposed regime for about two months.

Yesterday I went back for my check-up, waiting with bated breath for the results. I could see that my gynecologist was doing his utmost to put me at ease, but to me, everything depended on the result he told me. Initially, doing the abdominal scan, he couldn’t believe his eyes. We only found the one fibroid – and it had shrank! The other one is completely gone. He did the internal scan as well, and the sonar screen showed my uterus wall clean, beautiful and fibroid-free.

For us of course, this means “All Systems Go!”. And for all of you in the same boat – don’t ever give up – there is always a solution. Of course your gynecologist’s advice is always the best, and especially mine is as committed to our journey as we are, always willing to help with advice and support where he can.